we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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