You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
