I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I came so hard my ears popped.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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