i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
