My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Randomize
