her facebook's as public as her vagina
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
