remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize