Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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