This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
