Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize