And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
