So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
