one might say we're banned from that church
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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