I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
