I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
