its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
