Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
