you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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