Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
