Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She bit a glass in half.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
