I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
