I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So many bounce houses so little time
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
