Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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