Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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