I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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