I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
