she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
