Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
