Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So many bounce houses so little time
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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