I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
