She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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