I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
