I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
