Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
