The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
