"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
