I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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