Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
