Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
