why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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