What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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