nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and she was petting her beer can
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize