why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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