Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
