there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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