shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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