My first STD was from a foam party
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize