um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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