why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
