You smell like a Billy Joel song
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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