I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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