What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
