remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
