So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
