i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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