i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
