so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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