I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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