worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
