We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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